Live the life you really want
By Cilla Sturt.

One of the biggest challenges of motherhood these days is working out how to meet the demands of the family, have a successful job or a career, keep your love life in tact, somehow stay fit and healthy, plus get some time for yourself. Not easy!


Can you……

  • Step outside your daily life to get an objective view
  • Choose the areas that need some attention
  • Set some new inspiring goals
  • In a step- by-step process, choose a path to live out what you really want to achieve and be!
One of my clients, Lisa, a single working Mum, described her life like this:

“Its not that anything is going badly, its just somehow it all feels a bit ‘grey’, and I want my life to feel more like a rainbow!”

Exercise

  • Spend a few minutes writing down five things you have always wanted to do but haven’t got around to so far, or have dismissed as impossible.
  • Write down, beside those five things, two reasons why you haven’t managed it so far.
  • Then write beside them, three ways in which your life would be different if you achieved those goals.
Life coaching is intended to give you the chance to take a step outside your normal program to think about whether you really do live the life you want to live. To get an overview of everything that is happening for you and around you, and make choices to change the areas that are not as great as you would choose. This may be to do with your relationships, family, your work or career, your finances, social life or personal issues. It can give you the clarity to work out where the gaps are, and empower you to be and do what you really want.

As a young woman of 18, I boarded a plane to leave the country I had lived in all my life. I had a wonderful chance to start over in a new country. I made decisions and set some goals on that flight, which led to some major changes in the way I lived and responded to life, and those decisions have shaped my life in many ways since then.

That experience is an allegory of what happens in the process of life coaching.

Having a life coach means that this journey is one you don’t have to travel alone. You have someone beside you all the way to encourage you through the tough spots, believe in you and affirm your achievements, and to challenge you beyond what you may believe you can do. Coaching moves people forward, fast and easily.

The essential commitment that makes coaching work are:

  • Motivation
  • Self-belief
  • Self-discipline
  • Willingness to change
In the busy hubbub of activities, many mothers are finding that they have a growing need to get some clarity.

A working mum with three kids, described her new life coaching goal as “wanting to live in abundance, not always feeling like I am giving out my last drop of energy!.”

Lisa's story

Remember Lisa who I mentioned earlier? Lisa decided on her first coaching session that the three main area’s she wanted to bring change to were her work, home and love life!

Although overall for her life she wanted a rainbow instead of greyness, each area had many unsatisfying aspects to explore. We took a close look at what the gap was in those three areas. We set some really inspiring goals around each of the three areas of her life. Over a couple of sessions, (and a few cups of tea), we plotted a path from where she was in the present, to where she really wanted to be. We then spent some time putting in place some new support systems from friends and family to help her be strong as she introduced new ideas and faced the challenges that the changes would bring. What happened?

Work

Lisa owns her own successful business. She decided she wanted to do a higher percentage of work that felt like her choice rather than doing a lot of contract work which was boring and uncreative. This meant taking a risk away from safe jobs to branching out to more creative work with a higher risk but greater personal satisfaction! After 3 months, her income has increased and she recently said “Its so much fun I don’t feel like I’m going to work anymore!”

Home

This was an enormous challenge because what Lisa realized was that to find her ‘rainbow’ at home she would have to leave her present situation of living with family, and move into a home of her own with her 8 year old daughter. Finances, loneliness, and working out what was the best choice for her daughter were issues to overcome, but eventually she made her decisions, and now is enjoying the peace and fulfillment of having her own space, the joy of being who she wants to be in her own home.

Love life

When we first met, Lisa described this area as more black than grey! She had been through 2 quite difficult relationships over the past 10 years, and we spent a lot of time discussing what Lisa really wanted in a relationship with a partner. This meant having a good honest look at what had not worked in the past and what in herself she wanted to change for any future relationship. On our last session, Lisa explained that she had just had a wonderful date with an old business contact who she recently had met up with at a conference. They were delighted to find as they talked, that they shared a lot of the same perceptions in finding the right life partner. Lisa told me succinctly that the date was definitely not a ‘grey’ experience. In fact, it was a grey cloudy day when they met, and as they were talking over lunch, Lisa smiled to herself as she had spotted a rainbow in the distant sky!

Lisa committed to take some risks, to face the challenges that needed to be faced in order to move forward. During our last session Lisa was able to identify over 30 things which had changed from greyness to a rainbow color over the 3 months of her Life Coaching sessions.

It's all about you


We give so much of ourselves to our work and our family, and yes, that’s what we want to do, but to get a balance so that there is time for ourselves can seem like an impossible mission.
Many of the mums I have coached have said that the best thing about having life coaching is that for one hour a week “ITS ALL ABOUT ME!!!!” Life coaching is indeed all about you, and all about you finding a way to breakthrough from where you are now to where you want to be. Whatever area of life that is for you!
 
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